Mike Lehr's Blog

There is a scene from the comedy movie Animal House (Clip – Quote @ 2:51), a story about a cavalier fraternity, in which a brother Bluto played by John Belushi is trying to rally the house after being expelled from the college for failing grades and unbecoming behavior. After his rally cry failed, one brother finally exclaimed, “Bluto’s right!” The look on Bluto’s face is a combination of surprise, bewilderment and doubt; it’s apparent no one had ever said he was right about anything.

All of us find difficulty in resisting the seduction of having our beliefs, thoughts and feelings validated by others. In extreme cases, strong egos crave it. Nevertheless, one of the most powerful compliments we can give another is simply to say, “You’re right.” Of course, as is true with all compliments, sincerity is important, so it won’t behoove some of us to deliver this “you’re right compliment” (YRC) even when we believe the other person is wrong. Nonetheless, if we do believe someone is right, what’s the harm in telling her?

YRC has many variations:

Yes, you’re right;

• I never thought of that.
• I’ve never looked at it that way.
• that’s certainly a good way to do it.
• your idea would work.
• that’s how they would feel about it.

As practice, in your next conversation with someone, try to find one opportunity to compliment the other person this way.  Not only might it stun him, but it might also shorten the conversation if the person is extremely extroverted and talkative. All you need to do to see how rare and surprising the impact of YRC might be is to ask yourself this question: When was the last time anyone ever said to you, “Yes, you’re right.”

Related Link:

• Strategically Using Compliments in Relationship Building