Mike Lehr's Blog

This technique is one of the most effective for dealing with angry and anxious business situations. It has helped me and those I’ve instructed tremendously. Encouraging people to talk can help them feel better and present a better environment to present solutions. The diagram visualizes the technique for us. Its nickname is “sucking out the venom,” for we are extracting people’s anger and anxiety.

Venting Process – General Concept

Tips:

• Avoid stifling venting; you want to clean the air for your solution so you can present it on good ground.
• Encourage venting through your questions and demonstration of interest in their situation.
• Empathize with them by saying something like, “If that happened to me, I would be upset too.”
• Apologize if possible.  Depending upon the situation though, apologies can carry legal ramifications so a good apology can be along the lines of “I’m sorry that you feel that way.”  Consult your legal counsel if need be.
• Present your solution after the venting wanes; presenting it too early might leave deeper resentments unaddressed.
• Don’t worry about solving the problem; sometimes, all it takes is listening.

Translating the diagram into specific steps, we arrive at this:

Venting Process – Steps

1. Receiver (red square) expresses a negative thought or emotion to the presenter
2. Presenter (blue circle) pulls the negative expressions from the receiver by using open questions and encouragement (intensity of the feelings will likely increase for a short period)
3. Eventually, the presenter will begin to feel the negative energy dissipate in the form of cessation of talking, longer pauses, or quieter voice tones by the receiver
4. The presenter begins to isolate the negativity by clarifying details and  summarizing points
5. The presenter presents a plan (if possible) to address the problem