Bitch Session Redux
In the August 2, 2010 issue of the New Yorker, Atul Gawande writes in “Letting Go” about the importance of hospice giving “patients someone experienced and knowledgeable to talk to about their daily needs,” suggesting it helps to reduce traditional medical costs. This is a form of the “talking cure” first coined by Josef Breur and further developed by Sigmund Freud. The essential concept is that talking through our troubles helps to alleviate our anxiety.
In the work place, we often incorrectly identify this talking as a “bitch session.” An office manager in a law firm once complained to me about the time it was taking her to “talk through” various personality conflicts among the secretarial staff. I finally asked her, “What makes you think this isn’t part of your job?”
When people perform at their peaks, some anxiety will naturally exist because they are working on the edge of their comfort zones. The song Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins from the movie Top Gun expresses quite well the intensity of operating on this edge. Analogously, what would happen to a runner if she wore a wet suit and could not release her sweat? The same thing occurs on an emotional level if people cannot release their “emotional sweat.” Thus, we compound the problem when we discourage or criticize release.
Anyone who has worked in a law office knows that legal secretaries can work under some intense pressures. These pressures can easily create intense interpersonal encounters. Talking through them will help to ensure they don’t explode and assume more harmful forms. Managers should expect to have to “talk through” events with their people and not necessarily interpret them as bitch sessions.
Date: August 23, 2010
Categories: Approaches, Business Strategies, Emotions, Employees, Feelings, Influence, Interpersonal Skills, Job, Listening, Management, Motivation, Performance
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