Mike Lehr's Blog

Word choice is a function of personality. Yes, circumstances like jobs might require specific words but much room remains to choose other words. Sometimes, a single expression can give us all the insight we need.

For example, while with a previous employer, I helped a call center with customer service strategies and techniques over the phone. The center was transitioning between managing executives. When the new executive arrived, she heard about my help’s success. She wanted to meet and discuss me joining her team. After laying out her vision, she showed me a chart expressing the new functional detail for each job. Each job was shown as a box.

At the end of her review, she closed by pointing to the chart and asking, “So Mike, what I really want to know is which box do you want to be in?” To see the significance of this insight into her personality, it would help to contrast it with other possibilities:

• “. . . which box do you want to be in?”
• “. . . what kind of contribution would you like to make?”
• “. . . how would you like to help me?”
• “. . . where do you think your talents might work best?”
• “. . . where does your interest lie?”

What happened in this executive’s case is that her feelings about her reorganization plan produced certain emotions. They caused her intuition to influence her cognition in a manner that caused her to express people as mere fillers of boxes. We can see the emotional differences between her question and these other variants. Emotions illuminate personalities.

In the end, as you probably suspected, I did not join her team. She left the company after only being there thirteen months.

As we saw with an earlier post, intuition arrives first when we make decisions. But, how does this happen? How does intuition become involved in our response to an event?

Consider for a moment a restaurant’s ambiance. Objectively, it has nothing to do with the food; however, if it’s unclean, disorderly and ugly we will tend to feel there is also something wrong with the food. Why do children ask their moms and dads, “Are you in a good mood?” They know their parents’ emotional state will affect their decision-making.

Figure 1 illustrates what’s happening. For any event, there are conscious (solid lines) and unconscious aspects (transparent lines). Our cognition cannot capture consciously all an event has to offer.    Analogously, ponder light: some of it we can see some we can’t (such as heat, infrared, ultraviolet and radiation). Still, even if we can’t see unseen light, it affects us. The same holds true for events. Even if we can’t consciously grasp the unconscious aspects; they slip through our conscious defenses and affect us.

Figure 2 demonstrates how this happens. The unconscious aspects impact our emotions which triggers our intuition. Our intuition produces more complex emotions that impact our cognition, our thinking processes. These emotions will select the rationale that best express our wants, desires and needs. These are a function of our personalities and give insights into who we are (red lines).

Returning to our restaurant analogy, the negative feelings produced by the ugly ambiance trigger negative emotions. These in turn encourage us to select a rationale that might have us translate the ugliness into unsanitary. Therefore, we’ll rationalize that the food is unsafe and not good. Conversely, if the ambiance produces good feelings, we will tend to like the food more.

One of the best problem-solving techniques I learned is writing down the problem as specifically as you can. This technique helps find solutions by:

• Putting the problem in a form that allows you to see it
• Uncovering aspects of the problem you had not considered
• Encouraging you to think about the problem as you choose the right words
• Ensuring everyone is tackling the same problem in brainstorming sessions

My most successful use of this technique involved the design of a week-long seminar for top sales reps regarding some new product lines. I worked with the National Sales Manager to define the problem based upon the questions his people were asking. This question seemed to sum up the rest and became my definition of the problem:

How do we integrate our various products into our story and our presentations?

The training solution this definition gave me was focused on questioning, the premise being that the questions you ask say much about what you’re selling. Therefore, an integrated product line required integrated questioning. How did I arrive at this solution from this definition?

Basically, I contrasted the sales process his people were using with the question and saw something missing: the focus was on what to say about the products at an introduction (story) or closing (presentations) not what to ask, the most important part.

The training was extremely well received by the sales reps; eighteen product managers focused on questioning strategies that the reps could use to uncover problems. I provided the overarching questioning strategy to integrate those. By writing down the problem, I saw something missing. In this case what was missing became the solution.

Recently, as I’ve heard on many occasions, someone said “This isn’t personal, it’s business.” A critical assumption underlying an intuitive approach is that everything we do, think or say says something about us. In short, everything is personal. Business is no different; it can tell you much about a person.

The advantage business gives us in assessing personalities is the financial tradeoff it encourages. The stress this often creates allows us to see deeper into people than otherwise possible. When someone says, “This isn’t personal, it’s business,” he is saying the decision is very personal to him. It’s a form of protesting too much. The statement is just the rationale he chose to emotionally justify his decision.

However, we can’t assume that such a statement automatically implies any particular emotions. For example, they could have a miserly orientation or they could be rooted in strong feelings for providing for his family. Many other types of emotions could be at work. Without context, it’s impossible to tell.

Nevertheless, the key point is to realize that this person has one or more emotions that are strongly connected to money. To him, money is very personal. Once you know what these emotions are, money becomes an excellent vehicle by which to influence him.

Virtually all of our decisions are emotionally based. Therefore, as we saw in my previous posting, Decisions: Roles of Intuition and Cognition, intuition (link) plays a vital role in decision making. We often notice this as our confusion about the reasons people give for their decisions. This is because if don’t have a grasp on the emotions causing people on a subconscious level to gravitate to a rationale justifying what they want.

Since the business world often demands we have a rational orientation, we faulty believe that people make decisions about their actions as shown in the left-hand figure below.  If they find Rationale #1 as having the best set of reasons, evidence and logic, then people will select the recommended action associated with it, Action #1. If Rationale #3 is the best, then they select Action #3.

Shopping Rationales: Cognitive vs Intuitive Decisions

However, the right-hand figure shows that intuition, based upon people’s wants and desires, will actually determine the action then the corresponding rationale to support it. So, if people prefer Action #2, they will tend to select Rationale #2 because it justifies their decision. However, as the above embedded posting suggests, this shopping for a rationale will likely occur subliminally. This means that on a conscious, cognitive level, people will tend to believe they are making a rational decision even though they are not.

What does this mean in practical terms? First, good insight into the decision maker’s personality will enhance our abilities to predict his decisions even if we don’t have complete knowledge of the problem. Second, any of his decisions, even if they aren’t similar to the problem, will further our insights into his personality. Taking such an intuitive approach works because personality will always be more consistent than rationales.

In his landmark book, Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence (aka Lawrence of Arabia) ponders why two Arabs can hold off a dozen Turks but a thousand Arabs cannot defeat a thousand Turks. He arrives at the realization that large scale armies need to be organized around the weakest link to tap the advantages that size and technology can offer. In other words, you can’t organize your army around a set of requirements that are impossible for a soldier to perform.

With this in mind, what might happen to a Special Forces combatant who is compelled to fight in the regular army? As the article, Imperial Grunts, conveys in the October 2005 issue of the The Atlantic, many of these combatants might not “fit” well in the regular army. This is what caused the Arabs to not fight well in large groups; they could not bridle their talents. This is very much like a talented athlete who is forced to sit on the bench or compelled to perform within a structure that does not allow him to express his talents.

In the workplace, the same can occur with an employee who feels the employer is not using his talent wisely. Since a large corporation is like a large army, it will tend to organize around the weakest link. Thus, he might not have the freedom to show what he really could do because he is being forced to work like everyone else does. When we combine this with managers and co-workers who feel threatened by his talent, you could easily see his talents suppressed, his influence marginalized or his actions disruptive. All could mean his departure.

In Robert Heinlein’s science fiction book, Starship Troopers, the instructor, Mr. Dubois says, “One can lead a child to knowledge but one cannot make him think.” Automatically, a picture forms in my mind of a person who collects a garage full of tools and doesn’t fix anything or who collects a kitchen full of utensils and always orders out. There are many people who treat knowledge the same way; they collect it but never think about it or employ it.

Often I will begin certain seminars by declaring, “You won’t learn anything new, but if you’re like others, you’ll still find it helpful.” We are so preconditioned to view the stuffing of our minds as a benefit, that we have difficulty seeing how this could be true. So, I go on to say, “Most of what I will cover you already know; however, I will present it in a way that will encourage you to think about it differently and take action.”

I contend that rather than go out and collect more knowledge, if we just use even 20% of what we already know but don’t use, we would see substantial changes in our careers and lives. How many people collect business improvement books as though they were collecting stamps?

Intuitively, we know that we must consider the emotional aspect of knowledge. This appears in the form of motivation to think and employ that knowledge. Simply, learning something new shouldn’t be the benchmark of a worthwhile learning effort. Did it encourage us to look at things differently? Did it move us from inertia to action?

Now, that is real power.