Mike Lehr's Blog

People enjoy hearing their names. We just don’t realize how much they like it. Rather than devote extra time to crafting the right message, devote it to learning and using people’s names. It will change how they feel about you, and the interpretation of any message is greatly affected by how people feel about the messenger. People will tend to like those who use their names much better than those who don’t.

Here are some tips when using names:

• Ensure you are using a name people like, you are permitted to use and you are pronouncing it correctly; an unrelated but preferred nickname might exist
• If people have purposely shortened their names ease of pronunciation, try to learn the longer form if they prefer it
• Don’t assume that the name everyone uses for a person is the preferred name
• Whenever you engage in conversation (phone or in person), try to use the person’s name at least twice
• In emails – no matter how short – use people’s names in some form of salutation or greeting; you can use names enclosed in commas in the first sentence to preserve informality in short responses (i.e. “Yes, that is correct, Mike.” “Yes, Mike, that is correct.”)
• Avoid using people’s acronym unless it’s their preference
• Avoid using your own acronym in correspondence unless it’s your nickname; intuitively acronym’s tend to come across as more impersonal
• Even when the person is not involved in the communication, use his preferred name with others; it might correct a bad group habit that the person will appreciate
• If people are married, have family or other people important in their lives, referencing them helps too